


Secret Admirer

by phoebemaybe



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: ;), Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, He owns a phone now, Hurt/Comfort, John is a Zari Tarazi fan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:40:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24500209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoebemaybe/pseuds/phoebemaybe
Summary: Seeing her in her element, be it in battle or brainstorming content with her sibling in between their adventures, he felt that he should give her his genuine support in everything she did.Having her back during a fight was a given. However, this other aspect of her life was a bit harder to traverse. Taking down a horde of demons was preferable than using this blasted rectangular bit of plastic and metal. And yet, here he was, an old soul trying his utmost best to familiarize himself with modern technology without setting his phone on fire.
Relationships: John Constantine & Zari Tomaz | Zari Tarazi, John Constantine/Zari Tarazi, John Constantine/Zari Tomaz | Zari Tarazi
Comments: 21
Kudos: 91





	Secret Admirer

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone :) This is my first attempt at writing something for this lovely pairing! I am so excited to share a little something from my mind with you guys hehe. 
> 
> It came from that scene in the Pub (you all know which one hehe). Headcanon: John watches Zari's videos. How else would he seem to know so much about her "self help and advice videos"??? XD
> 
> I hope you guys love this as much as I did writing it <3.
> 
> Do tell me what you think about this down below please! Too fluffy? Not fluffy enough? Are they in character etc?

It was late on the Waverider.

Sure, they were a group of superheroes but even Legends needed their sleep. This was why a certain master of the occult was confident that no one would be up. Especially, not his Zari who was catching up on her beauty sleep when he crept out of her room. Tapping the little sideways triangle on the screen, he let the video play. In the silent galley, it was just him, his beer and a certain social media influencer.

Well, a video of her anyway.

On his newly fabricated smart phone Gideon had provided him with.

Loath was he to admit and it did take him a while, but John Constantine had come to truly enjoy the videos Zari Tarazi posted every week. He could see why she had amassed so many followers. Her positivity, constant optimism and that smile of hers was infectious. Recently, the follower count had gone up too after Zari’s somehow managed to rope her charming baby brother into starring in her videos.

These days, witnessing her do her thing in front of the camera often triggered a swell of pride in him. Zari was doing exactly what she had wished for that night in that pub at the end of the world - using her talents to create a more inclusive place in her own unique way. In turn, her channel was being reshaped into something less about the self-promotion and more about what she could do to help others. His Zari fought harder than ever before to protect all that she cared about - her family, her friends and even her fans. She had come so far from that self-centered diva who had stumbled onto this very ship.

Seeing her in her element, be it in battle or brainstorming content with her sibling in between their adventures, John knew that it was only right to give her his genuine support in everything she did. Having her back during a fight was a given. However, this other aspect of her life was a bit harder to traverse. Taking down a horde of demons was preferable than using this blasted rectangular bit of plastic and metal. And yet, here he was, an old soul trying his utmost best to familiarize himself with modern technology without setting his phone on fire.

All this, he had been doing in secret of course. Only his sentient teacher knew of his nightly lessons.

Even if they were closer than close now, didn’t mean he had to give all of himself away to Zari. God forbid, if the Dragon Girl herself found out that he was one of her fans.

She would never let him live it down!

“What do we have here?”

Bollocks.

Nearly choking on his mouthful of beer, John fumbled with his phone in attempts to close his CatChat app but all it did was turn the volume up. Zari Tarazi’s peppy voice addressing her Z nation subjects filled the air. The warlock cursed under his breath, mashing on the lock button of his device until he finally got the video to shut up. It was still too late. The damage had already been done. Hastily stuffing his phone into his pants pocket, he turned in his dining chair to find the real Zari Tarazi looking very much like a cat who swallowed two canaries and left nothing behind.

Swaying on the balls her feet with her hands clasped behind her, she queried, “Were you watching the video I just posted before we went to bed?”

Eyes fleeting away from her knowing gaze, John feigned denial. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Closing the distance until they were toe to toe, Zari smiled down at him. “You think you’re so sneaky. You really aren’t, Magic Man. I know what you’ve been up to.” Mirth danced in her eyes and the smile on her lips blossomed into a full-blown Cheshire grin. “Been asking Gidget for guidance in the ways of navigating the wonderful world of social media, have you?”

The sing song way she spoke her words had a small smirk breaking through his very bad poker face. John liked this new playful side of his Zari a lot. Lately, it’s been appearing more frequently to his utmost pleasure. With Behrad back by her side, she was finally happy and it showed. Her smiles shone so brightly she stole his breath away every time they appeared.

“I apologize, Mister Constantine. I tried my best to hide our lessons from her but Miss Tarazi managed to hack into my main frame. From there, she easily located the galley’s camera footage,” Chirped the robotic voice of the ship’s interface from overhead.

Nope, Gideon wasn’t sorry. John could practically hear the humor in her voice. As much humor as an AI could have that is.

Nonchalantly shrugging her shoulders, Zari informed him, “Nothing can beat my irresistible charms and brains. I suspected that you were up to something.” Cocking her head to a side with her hands akimbo at her waist, she added in an exclamation, “Never would’ve guessed you’d be cheating on me with _me_!”

Clearing his throat, John crossed his arms across his chest. “Yeah, well, I can’t divulge all my secrets, can I? I have a reputation to uphold.”

“I think whatever reputation you had has been completely obliterated. What was it you called me? Oh, yes. A superficial git.” Repeating his words back to him, in her squinted eyes swam a look of challenge. “What does this make you?”

John winced at those harsh words he had thrown at her that night, several months ago. It was a surreal night. He still couldn’t quite believe that it really happened, sometimes. A customary tingle ran down his spine at the memory he had of that night. Particularly, about the two of them in the back room of that dingy London pub.

Who knew pissing her of could have such an enjoyable outcome? Boy, did she snap that fateful night!

His simple act of offering up a distraction from her state of “doom and gloom” had led to hours of unexpected impassioned carnal delight. Their trysts had continued on much to his pleasure, picking up shortly after a momentary interruption by a television prison and a dystopian totalitarian reality. Their time together slowly evolved from a frantic need to scratch an itch to more of a languorous exploration of their bodies each time. The feel of Zari’s warm, satiated body snuggled up with him after each passionate encounter was something he had quickly grown addicted to.

“Alright, I’ll give you permission to call me a hypocritical arse.” John tugged the influencer to him by the ties of her sleep robe until she stood between the valley of his legs. Nuzzling his face into her satin covered belly, he half whispered, half grumbled, “Your videos aren’t half bad.”

Gasping in surprise, Zari threaded her fingers into his dirty blonde hair. With a sharp tug that had him hissing, she pulled him away from her body to meet his gaze. The glimmer in those large dark expressive eyes turned cheeky. Unlocking the phone that almost never left her hands, she aimed the camera at him.

“Could you say that for me again? I need to document this momentous occasion. John Constantine just complimented my content!”

Batting the phone away from his face, John chuckled. Looking at the beautiful woman before him, he never would have envisioned falling for someone so seemingly different from him.

When she joined the Legends, between his adventures to Hell and waging battles with the demons of his past, he wasn’t even on the ship enough to really interact with her. Seeing her at Ray and Nora’s wedding, hee never thought much about the new resident aside from her being Behrad’s annoying sister. An unexpected foray into thespianism brought them face to face officially for the first time. Her Juliet captivated him the instant she stepped out onto that balcony. Suddenly, his begrudging agreement to play the part of Romeo had never been more appealing. He wasn’t blind. Zari Tarazi was one stunning woman. Attraction dug roots into his heart so quickly before he even noticed it. And that kiss? Even though they were in character, the soft pressure of her lips lingered on his mouth as a phantom reminder for days.

Despite the budding attraction he felt for her, this woman didn’t seem to want to make it easy for him to like her. In fact, this vixen aggravated him so much. Her impatience at his efforts to find the third piece of the Loom grated on his nerves. Trapped in his own home with a more Encores than he could deal with alone, he didn’t have time to spare babysitting a defenceless lady who kept criticising his ways of doing things.

In hindsight, he could see that he was wrong to underestimate her and he had done that a lot. He really should have known that Zari was a lot of things, but a damsel in distress? She would never be one. He had underestimated her intelligence and her keen eye for observation. The way she handled herself in front of six murderous Encores was flawlessly carried out. Disguised as Cleopatra and armed with only her knack of improvisation, quick thinking and social prowess, she successfully persuaded history’s greatest murderers into maintaining a truce. Singlehandedly, she had saved his behind more than once that day. Without her, he never would’ve made it out of his future home in one piece.

This woman was dazzling and so full of surprises.

He had sorely mistaken her self-involvement as vanity when in actuality it was just a defence mechanism. Under her superficial exterior and her sass, she was just a girl who longed to be a part of something bigger. On the outside they appeared to be polar opposites, inside however, they were quite alike. Both of them knew what it was like to lose people they loved, people who perished trying to protect them. Both of them were people who had long grown accustomed to the constant companion of loneliness. Perhaps, it was that little lost, neglected boy living inside his cool, aloof exterior, had been the driving force that had pushed him towards the little girl slumbering inside Zari. Sitting on her throne so high above a nation of fans, that little girl wanted nothing more than to have a friend.

Tilting his head up to reach his Zari, John placed a kiss to the corner of her lips. Watching her smile grow even larger, John found himself enchanted by her beauty once more.

“What was that for?” Zari asked.

Sliding his palm up and down her side, following the curve of her slender waist, John grew pensive for several moments before finding his words.

“I’m just glad I have you, love.”

Tossing her flowing curls behind her shoulders, Zari nodded and said flippantly, “I’m not surprised. I am a catch. Best hold onto me tight, Johnny. Or else I might just wiggle off your hook if you aren’t careful.”

“You are something. I will give you that.” John stated with a huff of laughter. “But you’re not the type to play with people’s hearts.”

At least, he hoped she wouldn’t do that to him.

He wasn’t ready to say it just yet but he cared for her a lot, far more than he knew his battered heart had the capability to. Not after losing so many people and usually, due to his own mistakes. He had condemned so many to a life or afterlife of pain and misery. So many around him seemed to share that same fate. For so long, the first thing he did when he woke was imagine everyone he cared about dead. All in the hopes to protect himself from the pain that came when the inevitable happened.

In reality, it never did.

He had lost too many people to count and it hurt like a motherfucker every time. Each time, the guilt of his actions weighed heavier and heavier on his heart. It was a never-ending cycle. As a consequence, he was terrified of loving someone only to lose them. That image of Zari, unbreathing, lying lifeless at the back of a fish and chip truck was quite the permanent feature in his nightmares already. He rejected the idea of a world without her in it. The idea of Zari not being around might just be enough to push him into picking up a cigarette again.

Granted, a breakup wasn’t death but he didn’t like it either.

“Treat me right and then we’ll see,” the influencer teased. Her eyes, they shone with a softness that told him she cared about him just as much as he did her, letting him breathe a little easier.

Dragging a chair over to where he sat, she settled herself down daintily beside him. They were sitting so closely that their knees bumped when she crossed her legs. Resting an elbow on the armrests between them with her chin propped up in her hand, she batted her eyelashes at him. “You can start by telling me how long you’ve been stalking my CatChat account.”

Head lolling to the back, John groaned.

“Tell me….” That minx of a woman wheedled, poking him in his side and digging her perfectly manicured index finger into his flesh until he twitched in his seat. 

Curling his fingers around her pesky one to keep her assault at bay, John threw Zari a glare that held not so much anger but more of a fond affection. Zari glared back at him with her lips pursed together in a firm line. A look that commanded him to do as she requested. Their glaring quickly turned into a staring contest. Dark brown eyes locked onto equally dark brown ones. For moments, neither of them blinked. The stubbornness in them refused to let them cave. That is until the exorcist begrudgingly folded with a sigh because he could never bring himself to deny this woman anything. Not when giving in could evoke a triumphant smile that lit up her face so prettily.

“It’s been about a month now.” Slotting his fingers comfortably into the space between the smaller hand still in his grasp, he confessed to Zari.

Leaning closer to him, an intrigued Zari enquired, “Before or after the zombie apocalypse?”

John blurted out a gruff ‘before’ after a brief pause for what seemed to be an internal debate with himself. Patting his pocket, he further disclosed to her, “The phone’s new though.”

“Oh…” Zari squirmed gleefully. This was news to her!

“Just so you know, I only started watching out of curiosity. Because _you_ ….” Waving his beer bottle in her direction, he continued, “kept bragging about how many millions of fans you had every chance you got, love.”

That wasn’t exactly the truth but it was fun to make fun of his Zari.

Zari harrumphed, swatting at John’s shoulder with the back of her hand. “I did not. Not to you, at least. Besides, it’s not bragging if it’s the truth.”

Rolling his eyes at her, loving the adorable pout on her lips, John smiled against the lip of his bottle and took another swig of his drink.

The two of them fell into a comfortable silence. Both of them contemplating respective thoughts in their own heads. Dropping her head into the curve where John’s shoulder met his neck, Zari tucked herself into the safe space that she had come to cherish. Burying her face into his skin, she pressed a kiss to his neck. The shiver that run through him had her feeling awfully thrilled.

Breaking their interlude, Zari spoke from her place at his neck. “Why did you really decide to start watching my videos?”

John remembered the reason and the day it happened very well.

“Behrad’s last birthday.”

The solemnity in his voice carried the reminder of that period of mourning the team had lived through.

Beside him, Zari tensed. He could hear and feel the sharp intake of her breath on his skin. Reaching over the back of her seat, he pulled her closer to him as best as he could with the armrests between them. That was a dark time for everyone on the Waverider. Being well versed in pain, he could empathise. He understood what it was like to lose someone you grew up with. For him it was Natalie. But could it have been worse for Zari? Behrad was her baby brother, someone she had known her whole life.

“You weren’t aware of me that night but I saw you.”

* * *

It was a few nights after their trip to 1901.

Still researching up on ways to reactivate the loom, it was well past midnight when John strode through the corridors of the ship. His main goal was to retrieve some more books from the Parlour to cross reference with the ones in his room, the Library. He hadn’t expected anyone to be awake, not after a day of being hunted by a Demon Dog. Yet, as he followed the corridor heading to the Bridge, he heard her voice. That cheerful, lively, slightly pitchy voice of hers. True enough, through the glass windows framing the Parlour, he saw her sitting on one of the leather couches. Zari was on her phone, talking animatedly to whatever it was she called her followers.

Frustration bubbled up in his chest. Roughly rubbing a hand down his face, he itched for a cigarette so badly. He didn’t quite know how to face this woman just yet. Not after their failed Loom activation session that morning. She was mad at him and she had every right to be. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to get her brother back, of course he did. Behrad was his friend. How could he make Zari understand the desperation that drove his need to prioritize helping Astra first? Natalie and Astra were the greatest regrets of his life. He had failed them so thoroughly due to his own stupid mistakes. With Astra out of Hell and the Loom so near, he leapt at the chance of getting Natalie back too. Call him selfish, but he longed for nothing more than to make amends. He longed for nothing more than to give his best friend and her daughter the best life they could have had.

Before he could gather his wits about him, a strangled sob drifted out from within the room.

Zari was crying.

Her shoulders shook as her tears streaked down her cheeks, smearing her mascara along the way, leaving dark streaks on her skin. Much like the day she had marched up to him and demanded he bring her brother back. Except, gone was the bravado and determination. In their place was solely grief. Zari seemed to shrink before his eyes as she pulled her knees up to her chest, curling herself up into a ball. The next words she muttered had an invisible force clenching around his heart, squeezing so hard that he couldn’t breathe.

“Happy Birthday, Behrad Joon. I miss you so much.”

The warlock could see that this social media thing that he never really thought much of was an outlet for Zari to find some normalcy in her life. Her brother wasn’t around anymore, now more than ever, she needed something familiar to keep her afloat. She was trying to find an aspect of her life that she could have some semblance of control over. That commitment to her fans, showing them her best side was a coping mechanism. It was a two-way, mutual beneficial relationship that provided her with some solace in all this mess. Despite all the pain she was going through, she never failed to come through for her followers, to give them some hope in the bleak reality that was the world. Only when the cameras were turned off, she allowed her shields to fall away. When she was sure no one could see, only then did she grant sorrow the freedom to consume her whole.

That night, a sudden wave of understanding and admiration for this woman washed over him. Zari Tarazi was strong. Stronger than he gave her any credit for.

That night was also the night he took his first tentative dip into the world that was Zari’s domain. With the help of Gideon, John Constantine had watched his first CatChat video. The very same video that he had just witnessed her film in the Parlour.

* * *

“Watching your videos, an unsuspecting person would never have known just how much you were hurting.”

That was another thing that made them so alike. Keeping up appearances was second nature for them. Under her bright smile and his own prickly demeanour hid a pair of bleeding hearts.

Trickles of wetness slid down the side of his neck, dampening the collar of his shirt whilst warm shuddery breaths rolled across his skin. Quiet sniffles permeated from his neck.

Hearing it from his perspective must have brought it all back. His own heart reached out to his Zari. Before Behrad’s return, did her heart ache between the cage of her ribs at the thought of how she would never get to celebrate another year with her baby brother? Did the weight of regret press down on her chest so hard that the only way to breathe was in agonising gulps? Did she regret at not being there more often for her brother? Did she regret at prioritizing her craft over her family? Just like him choosing his magic over Natalie.

Running his fingers in a caress through Zari’s chocolate waterfall of curls, John hoped his touch could be a balm to soothe some of the pain she still harboured. Even with Behrad now safe and sound, asleep aboard the ship, his death was still fodder for her nightmares. After numerous nights of hearing Zari profusely mumbling words of apologies to her brother in her sleep, that much John knew for sure.

“Your videos are inspiring. I just never saw them that way before.” John said. The truth of his words was directed to Zari as much as it was to himself.

Extricating herself out of his embrace, Zari punched him in the arm. “That’s because you never gave them a fair chance, you git.”

“I know, love. That was my mistake. I rescind those words I said to you that night.” He really misjudged her but he knew better now.

Dabbing at her eyes with her fingers, Zari hiccupped. “So, you should.” Her voice was a little warbled from crying. “It would also be a travesty if my boyfriend wasn’t my biggest supporter.”

In his chest, John’s heart did a little flip. They already did so much more than swap kisses but still, it was nice to know that Zari wanted this relationship as much as he did.

That being said ….

His face scrunched up as he tested out the label she gave him on his tongue. “Boyfriend?”

“Too juvenile for your tastes?”

Tossing her an incredulous look, John reminded her, “We aren’t teenagers.”

Tucking her bottom lip between her teeth, Zari plunged herself into a moment of thought. John on the other hand was content with not so secretly admiring her. The way her teeth sunk into her plump bottom lip had him wishing that it was his teeth. Faster than he could blink, a light bulb moment came to her and the warlock watched with keen interest as a smile that perfectly described the word devious, emerged on her face.

Shrinking the distance, until there was only an inch of space between their faces, his minx purred, “How about lover? Want to be my lover, John Constantine?”

John’s eyes immediately zeroed in on that pink tongue that darted out to moisten her lips.

His mouth watered.

Where Juliet’s kiss for her Romeo was sweet and chaste, never straying too far away from innocent, his Zari’s kisses varied over a spectrum. Sometimes, they were languid and tender. Other times, they were sloppy, open mouthed, intermingled with quiet sighs. Those were his favourite because they were testaments of his efforts to pleasure her. Nonetheless, John relished in every smooch he could steal from this woman's lips.

Eyes falling shut, he dove in for a taste. Which type of kiss would he get this time?

Before he could touch her and to his utter dismay, his Zari's lips disappeared! And to add some frustration to the mix, the pad of her fore finger was what his mouth landed on instead. Eyes snapping open, John saw Zari smiling at him, looking like the poster child of innocence.

Finger tracing along the curve of his cupid bow, she informed him, “If you want to be my lover, you had better be following me on every single one of my social media.”

Sucking in a frustrated breath and forcing his hunger away, John gave her finger a nip before retreating from her orbit. He vowed to himself that he would kiss this woman senseless before the sun came up. Preferably, under the covers of her bed. Without clothes on.

Fishing out his phone from its home in his back pocket, John plopped the device into Zari’s hands. “Yeah… You’ll have to teach me how to find those on here. The ship only got as far as CatChat.”

“I can already tell that this is going to be a long and tiring process, isn’t it?” Zari sighed and noted with a resigned shake of her head.

Zari’s words were one thing, but her eyes, John could see right through them to her soul. Within those pretty brown eyes, a glimmer manifested. They gleamed in a way that told John that she wasn’t at all unhappy with the task of guiding him through her world. He could tell that she was more than happy and maybe a bit smug to school him in something that she was a master of.

“Aye.” Nevertheless, John nodded. He agreed with Zari wholeheartedly. If Gideon had hair, she would have already pulled them all out just from teaching him how to unlock his phone. “You best get started, love.”

There was something else close to his heart that John never told Zari about. Maybe one day soon, he’d tell her. She was right about him. He truly had found something to live for. _She_ was that something. More than ever, he wanted to live. He wanted as much time as he could bargain for to be with her. To be with this maddening woman who was always challenging him, challenging him to be better.

Not for her but for himself.

Maybe, just maybe, in Zari Tarazi, John Constantine had found the other half to his whole.


End file.
